Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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