Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
