Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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