but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
