wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
ugly people sure do ruin things
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
