so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
where are my eyebrows?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
