its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
