It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
