I need help removing her.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
