Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
