try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
