i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
