Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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