ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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