my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
