When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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