Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Is it penis luge time yet?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
