The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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