it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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