I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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