seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
