he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
