your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
