did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
