We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
