I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
How does one acquire holy water?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
