He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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