M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
