Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
