ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
