Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize