I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
