Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
this hospital has no fireball
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
