guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
