Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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