question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
