overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
