dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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