im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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