I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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