You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
