why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
