Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
