okay pat passed out under dana's car
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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