I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
