I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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