Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
