I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
