Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
