I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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