My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
