Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
