So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
